The Golden Pecker Page 9

  “You’re right, I’m sorry.” Landon said. His words came out clipped and controlled, like he was trying hard not to say more.

  “I’m right. You’re sorry? That’s it? You could try telling me what it is you’re hiding. What’s the big secret? Huh? Or were you hoping you could just let me fall for you so deep that I’d forgive you for being a liar?”

  “It’s not that simple.”

  “It’s pretty damn simple. There’s the truth, and then there’s you. Truth, meet a stranger named Landon. I know you two haven’t met before, but he would love to give you a try.”

  “Andi…” Landon said.

  “No.” I held up my palm and shook my head. “I’m going to check out the club for myself. Or will going in there reveal your secret? Is that why you’re trying so hard to stop me?”

  “It’s not safe in there. For you.”

  “I can take care of myself.”

  “I’m aware. Trust me,” he added, almost reluctantly. “But it’s a different world in there. There are rules you don’t know about. Customs you’d be walking blind into. Somebody could misinterpret, they could think…”

  “What? Spell it out for me, Landon. They’ll think I’m free game? That I want to fuck? And what if that’s all true? Is that a problem for the executor of my grandfather’s will? Because I find it hard to believe you hang out in here every night and don’t go exploring on your own. So is it just me that isn’t supposed to have any fun? That’s what you want me to be, right? Something you can put in a display case and play with when it suits you?”

  Inside that head of his, Landon was clearly at war. There was something he was trying desperately to say—or maybe not to say. “This isn’t about what I want. Letting you go in there by yourself, looking like that… You don’t understand what you’d be doing.”

  “Looking like what?” I asked, even though I hated how much I knew what I wanted his response to be.

  “You look exactly like the kind of pure, pretty little thing a seasoned dom would love to claim. Some doms would happily take you, manipulate you, and turn you into their plaything before you knew what happened. Not all of them would, but some are predators.”

  My eyes narrowed. “And tell me, how is that different from the way you tied me up and seemed to want me to enjoy it so badly? Why should I believe you’re not one of those predators?”

  “Right,” I said, sliding out from under his arm. “If you’re not going to be honest with me, then you’re no more trustworthy than anybody in there. Have a great night, Landon. Or don’t, actually. I really don’t give a shit.”

  I walked toward the lobby without looking back, even though I’d let my stubbornness write a check the rest of me didn’t want to cash. The extent of my plan had been to bluff about wanting to go explore on my own. In my determination to piss him off, I’d just agreed to walk blindly into a BDSM club full of apparent sexual predators at the worst, and masters of emotional manipulation at the best. Nice one, Andi.

  I could sense Landon easily keeping pace with me. I knew if I stopped or hesitated, he’d take me by the arm again and try to talk me into staying with him.

  So, I didn’t stop.

  I let stubbornness pull me forward like a leash tied to my neck.

  I passed through the lobby, briefly catching a glimpse of his brother, James, sitting in his usual spot at the bar. I turned a corner, ducked through a black curtain, and found myself in a dark room filled with scentless smoke. I half-blindly felt my way around the wall until I found a door, which I pushed my way through.

  In what felt like seconds, I’d stumbled my way from the lobby to a mysterious, dark ass room in a creepy BDSM club.

  Wonderful.

  I turned and felt for the door handle, then twisted the lock. A paranoid part of my mind wondered if I was locking myself in with someone or something, but I pushed that thought away.

  “What do we have here?” asked a man’s voice from the darkness behind me.

  I twitched back at the sudden sound. “Sorry,” I said. “I’m just trying to avoid this guy who was bothering me. I’ll be out of your hair in a minute or two.”

  Landon knocked on the door a few times and tried the handle.

  “Andi,” he called through the door. “Don’t be stupid. Open the door. You don’t know what you just walked into.”

  I squinted into the dark room and tried to find the person who had spoken. “Do you have a name, guy in the shadows?”

  From what I could see, the room wasn’t very large, but the only light was coming from a single bulb that didn’t appear to work like normal light bulbs. I could see that it was on, but all it managed to illuminate were a few vague, fuzzy impressions I thought must be the walls of the room. If anything, I thought I’d have been able to see more if the light was off.

  “I’m Edward.”

  I flinched back when I saw the man emerge from the shadows. He was almost as tall as Landon. He was broad, powerful, and he made all my instincts to run fire off at once.

  “I should go, sorry,” I said, reaching for the door.

  “No,” he said. Before I could unlock the door, his hand was on mine. Something about the way I hadn’t even heard him run—which I was sure he did to cover the distance so fast—made my blood feel like ice. “You really shouldn’t,” he said. “We’d love to have you join us.”

  I looked behind him but couldn’t see who the “we” he was talking about was. My skin crawled, like dozens of pairs of unseen eyes could be prying into me from the darkened corners of the room—phantom hands and fingers exploring my body in an unwelcome barrage.

  “I’m going,” I said more firmly. “So please back the fuck off and let me unlock the door.”

  “Andi? Who’s in there?” Landon called from the other side of the door. “Open the door!”

  “Creeper alert!” I called as loudly as I could.

  Landon immediately started banging something hard into the door so that it flexed against its hinges. Edward made no sign of wanting to remove his hand from the lock, so I did the most reasonable thing I could think of. I put my hands on his shoulders, pulled down, and used the leverage to drive my knee up toward his crotch as hard as I could.

  Instead of the soft collision with his balls I was looking for, my thigh was stopped by the palm of his hands.

  “Word of advice,” he said. “Putting your hands on the shoulders gives away your plan. Next time, just use the knee.”

  “Landon!” I called, a little more desperately. “Creeper alert. Defcon one, or whichever is the worst defcon level!”

  There was a loud bang and the door finally cracked off its hinges. Landon shouldered his way in and put his arm between Edward and me.

  For a few painfully tense moments, neither man said a word.

  “This one yours?” Edward asked finally.

  “Yes,” Landon said.

  The cold certainty in his voice gave me chills. Any other time, I probably would’ve butted in with some smartass comment to the contrary. But right now, I only felt a glow of comfort in knowing Landon was here to keep Edward and his creepy hands away from me.

  Edward studied us for a few moments, as if trying to detect whether Landon was telling the truth. “Name your price.”

  “She’s not for sale. Or for trade. She’s mine.” His tone brokered no argument.

  Another wave of chills. Sale or trade? What the actual fuck? I was starting to think Landon may have been right when he said I didn’t know what I was getting into by coming here alone. I was also starting to wonder if I really knew Grandpa Willy at all.

  “Everything has a price. We’ll just have to see what yours is. I want this one,” he tried to reach to touch my arm, but Landon swatted his hand away.

  Edward chuckled. “Always so tense.” He turned his attention to me, and his eyes grew predatory. “Sydney did mention you were playing with a new toy. Hello, toy.”

  I cringed back.

  Landon put his hand on my chest
and urged me back toward the door. “Sydney has no idea what she’s talking about. And if I even think you’re planning on touching Andi again, I’ll break both your hands. Then I’ll make sure you lose your coin. All of you,” he added, turning his gaze toward the darkness.

  I felt another cold shiver. This Edward guy was creepy enough. How many more like him were lurking just beyond the light? And what the hell were they doing before I came into the room, sitting in the dark and telling scary stories?

  “That’s a dangerous path,” Edward said. “You’re sure that’s the stance you want to take?”

  “Positive.”

  “Can we go?” I whispered.

  Landon glared at Edward for a few more seconds, then nodded. “Come on,” he said gruffly.

  For once, I followed him without complaint and let him lead me back through the smoky room, the black curtain, down a winding hallway, and through a padded leather door. We were in what looked like an ordinary—if almost laughably gothic—bedroom.

  I shook my head once we were inside and alone. “You take me straight to a bedroom, huh? If you think I’m going to just jump your bones because you saved me back there, you’re—”

  “No,” he said. “I just wanted a quiet place where we can talk.”

  I crossed my arms. “Okay. Let’s start with what the hell that was? And how many people were in that fucking room? You were talking to the shadows like you knew there were people there.”

  “That was Edward Kraft. He’s… a necessary evil.”

  I bulged my eyes and spread my hands. “And that means, what? You know he’s a creep, but you let him come to the club anyway? Or like how superheroes would go out of business if there were no supervillains? Because that’s bullshit. Superheroes could help people on moving day, with taxes, and way more practical stuff. Supervillains—”

  “It means part of the purpose of the club is to let everybody have a safe place to experience whatever BDSM is to them. For Edward, it’s his harem.”

  “His harem…” I said slowly. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t that like when a king has a swarm of fuck buddies at his disposal?”

  “Something like that. Edward recruits women, and sometimes men he takes a liking to. They’re all submissive to him. He wanted you to join. That’s all.”

  “That’s all. He just wanted to bully me into joining his sex slave club?”

  “Despite what it seemed like; he knows the rules of the club. Nothing would’ve happened if you didn’t sign a contract.”

  “Why don’t you sound entirely convinced you’re telling me the truth?”

  Landon sighed. “Because I’m not sure anymore. There have been some rumors about Edward’s tactics swirling around the club these past few weeks. Rumors that he’s starting to act like he’s above the rules, or that he thinks he knows—just never mind. The point is I’ve got it handled.”

  “Then take away his coin, or whatever that was you were talking about. You’re in charge, aren’t you?”

  “Being in charge of a place like this isn’t a ticket to ultimate power. There are sects. Groups of influence. Above all of that, there’s the idea that nobody should feel singled out for their kink. People who lean toward Edward’s tastes see him as a kind of leader. So, if I got rid of him, I’d be setting the kind of precedent that could destroy the club and what it stands for. The price of feeling accepted for our oddities is having to accept everyone else for theirs.”

  I pursed my lips and nodded thoughtfully. “I see. You just walk around and talk like you’re tough, but when it comes down to doing something, you’re afraid of making waves.”

  Landon’s features darkened. “No. I’m reluctant to sabotage a club I’ve devoted most of my life to build. Edward is a situation I’m aware of, and it’s one I’m monitoring. Closely.”

  I walked to the edge of the bed and sat. “So, am I supposed to believe my grandfather really wanted me to learn the ins and outs of this place so I could take it over? Even though running it apparently sounds more like being a prison warden than a business manager?”

  Landon shrugged. “I can’t say why he wanted you to be involved. Maybe he wanted you to have a chance to see what I do. He might have thought you’d decide to leave me in my position once you saw what running the club entailed.”

  “Or maybe that’s the angle you’re pushing.”

  Landon sat down on the edge of the bed. For the first time since I’d known him, he looked exhausted as he stared down at his hands. When he finally looked up at me, none of the usual iron was in his expression. He looked more human. More vulnerable.

  “Andi,” he said. “About what you said in the hall. I’ve been as honest with you as I can be.”

  I squinted. “That’s a lot of words that don’t really say much.”

  Landon’s jaw flexed. “What I mean is I’m trying my best.”

  “Take your time, if you’re keeping something from me, it’s like a wall. Maybe knocking it down will squish us, but keeping it up is sure as hell going to keep us apart.”

  Landon chuckled. “You’re better at metaphors than me.”

  “I’m better at jokes than you, too. Some might argue that means my intelligence is superior.”

  “I wouldn’t disagree.”

  We sat there in silence long enough for me to wonder if I was supposed to get up and leave. Maybe it would’ve been the smart thing to do. My brain knew to keep Landon at arm’s length, but every moment I spent with him was a war with my body, which had entirely different plans.

  Instead of leaving, which is what I should’ve done, I spoke. “Trust is hard for me, I guess. I think I stopped trusting myself to care about anyone or anything new. I lost my mom, then my dad, and now my grandpa.” I tried to smile to soften the melodrama of saying it all out loud, but my lips quivered. I cleared my throat and put my hand to my lips, hopefully in a way that didn’t make it obvious I was trying to hide. “It doesn’t get easier,” I said a little shakily. “Losing people, you care about, I mean. So it feels like the only rational thing is to stop caring in the first place. The more you let yourself care, the more you wind up getting hurt in the end.”

  Landon nodded. “I guess different paths can lead people to that same conclusion.”

  I looked up. “Did you lose someone, too?” I asked. I didn’t think that was what he meant, but he seemed so reluctant to talk about what was on his mind. I knew I needed to prod him a little to get it out.

  “Yes.” He looked at me for a long time, face scrunched like he was trying to bring himself to say something. Finally, he hung his head and shook it. “I lost him twice. Once when he gave up on us and once when he died. But the first time was the real death. The second time just meant whatever little hope of things getting better was gone for good.”

  I waited for him to say more, but felt my stomach sink even with the little he was telling me. I hadn’t realized his father was dead, too. From the little he’d told me at the aquarium, I’d been able to piece together a slightly less incomplete puzzle. Still, my understanding of Landon and his past was full of holes.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said. I reached out and took his hand in mine. It was rough, warm, and surprisingly hard.

  “No, don’t be. I wasn’t trying to one-up you. I just wanted you to understand that I know where you’re coming from, even if it’s not for the same reasons. Trusting people is hard. It makes you vulnerable. And I know this probably doesn’t mean much, but you can trust me. Finish the list, and I’ll make sure you get your share of the hotel.”

  I studied Landon, trying to see through to the boy he must’ve been growing up. I imagined how he had probably stalked the halls of his high school with a personality as sharp and deadly as a knife. I thought of the throngs of girls who must’ve been desperate to throw themselves on that edge, even if they knew the best they could hope for was a scar they’d be able to tell their friends about.

  Tragedy or not, I imagined he had been the boy who was always s
tronger, better, and faster than everyone else. He was probably the one teachers let get away with every little thing because even they weren’t immune to the awe he practically oozed.

  And now all that tragedy and privilege had shaped him into this frightening combination of charm and coldness. The closest comparison I could think of was that it felt like looking at a gorgeous painting while ominous music played in the background. As much as you could trust your eyes that what you saw was pretty and pure, you still couldn’t help but let that chilling music twist your perception.

  “Tell me this,” I said. “Are you a bad person?”

  He looked at me, almost sadly. “Yes.”

  “And what do you really want from me?”

  “Everything.”

  I licked my lips. “What if I told you I have gonorrhea; would you want that too?”

  Landon didn’t even flinch. “There it is.”

  “There what is?”

  “I’ve finally made you nervous enough to get a joke out of you. Here’s what I think. I think you’re nervous because you know you’re going to submit to me before long. And you’re scared that you’ll like it. But you want to hate it, just to spite me.”

  “Those are a lot of assumptions. What if I just want to feel like I can trust you before I give you a piece of my heart to play with?”

  Landon’s eyes were like glinting coals in the dark room. He moved closer, one hand cupping my cheek and the other on my thigh.

  I shivered against the sudden contact. I almost recoiled back, but I couldn’t make myself do it. His touch was the most delicious kind of sin.

  His mouth was just inches from mine again, but his eyes bore into me. “I want to make you moan my name. I want you to say it until you’re hoarse and your muscles are shaking with need. I want to feel you shudder against me as you come.”

  Each word that came from his cruel and perfect lips was like an impact in my chest, forcing more and more air out of my lungs with each syllable. By the end, I was breathless. “So, you’re saying you think I’m cute,” I whispered.

  There it was again. I was waving a pathetic attempt at humor over my head like a little white flag. Meanwhile, all around me, bombshells were exploding—stinging my cheeks with dirt and shrapnel. Despite it all, I had to sling out a stupid joke, or at least a bit of sarcasm.